


Careless Whispers

by Tarlan



Category: Red Dwarf
Genre: M/M, Masturbation, Merry Month of Masturbation Challenge, Voyeurism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-07
Updated: 2012-05-07
Packaged: 2017-11-05 00:01:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 359
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/399683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tarlan/pseuds/Tarlan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>All Lister wanted was a little quality time... alone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Careless Whispers

**Author's Note:**

> Written for **MMoM** 2012 - Day 7

"What the smeg are you doing here?" Lister exclaimed, hastily pulling up his boxers. The last thing he expected to see when he decided to have a little quality time with his right hand was Rimmer standing in the corner of the room watching him.

"Oh, carry on." Rimmer waved. "Don't mind me." He tried to look nonchalant, buffing his holographic fingernails.

"Don't mind you? Well, actually I _do_ mind you! Get the smeg out of here!"

Rimmer gave up any sign of nonchalance and began to wheedle. "I'm bored! And it's not as if I can do anything but watch you fumbling around in your underwear."

"Go away."

"I can give you pointers," Rimmer sing-songed. Lister glared at him. "Fine. I'm going."

Once he was certain Rimmer had actually left, Lister settled back down on his bunk and stuck his hand back down his boxers but it took a few minutes to put himself back in the mood. He moaned softly, closing his eyes as he tried to pull in an image of Kristine Kochanski, but it disintegrated immediately as Rimmer's voice whispered in his ear.

"Oh yeah. A little harder, and a slight twist at the tip. Smear that--"

"Smeg!" Lister sat up and glared.

"What? You were doing really well there."

"Out!" Lister pointed to the door.

He flopped back down once Rimmer had gone and tried to claw back the mood for the third time only to have his fantasy of Kochanski sabotaged by the memory of that husky voice in his ear.

"Oh, what the smeg," he murmured and went with it, refusing to bring in images of Rimmer... just his voice.

Minutes later he was wiping his hand on his t-shirt after cleaning up the worst of the mess using an unwashed pair of boxers that he'd discarded beside the bed a week or so ago. He lay back afterwards feeling relaxed and happy, promising never to think of Rimmer again while having sex.

Two days later, Rimmer leaned over and whispered in his ear while he was pretending to fix an air duct... and he was instantly hard as a nail.

END


End file.
